leaving home...

It's never easy leaving home. I've never experienced being away from home by no longer than a week, even when I was still studying.Twice I left home and lived somewhere else, once when I was still a kid and the other when I was in college but still always close enough so that I can, on certain occassions go back, even for a little while. The only thing in my mind that is as hard is seeing people close to you leave.

A few years back, some of my closests friends migrated to another continent to start their life anew Down Under. I've never questioned them, or anyone else, their motives for leaving but I'm always asking myself if I'll get used to them being "not there". I got used to it eventually. Whenever these things happen, I'm always reminded of an ice cream commercial long ago with that now famous line "eh sinong best friend mo duon?".

Two more of my friends left to work abroad and I'm a bit sad and disturbed, even for just a bit. Are they seeing something that I don't? Will I ever realize it before it's too late? Three times in the past I've been offered but three times I refused. Call me sentimental or patriotic but somewhere down that road I'll have to give it some serious thought.

In a couple of weeks, another friend is leaving and this time, I'm not just a bit sad, I'm really, really really sad because, she may be gone for good, and there's nothing I can do about it. My prayers are gonna be with her though, hoping that she'll have all the success and happiness she deserves, and she deserves a lot.
After all the goodbyes have been said and probably seeing her face for the last time, I wish I could take a mental picture of that last moment, ala Alec Baldwin, as I tap my temples with my fore fingers ~CLICK~ and in my head I mutter... "eh sinung best friend mo duon?".

"syempre ikaw lang!", I heard her say, this time, it's still just in my head.

here goes nothin....

It was only with the encouragement of a friend that I'm willing to do this, but I wondered every once in awhile why shouldn't I? Maybe it's the fear that I may not always have something to write about, or the possibility that other people will be able to read what my thoughts are and presumptions or something. Basically, it's the fear that others may judge me for what they've read but I'm over it and I'm willing to go move forward and try and fail and try again.

I think maybe it's time other people should know what's inside me, what my thoughts, my feelings are before it's too late to do something, or at least I've said my point. I just pray I don't run out of things to say...

so here goes nothing...