Is your life better now?

This is one of the topics posted on CNN Open Forum for the coming New Year. I pondered on it for awhile then switched to Solar to catch the game.

Today is Rizal Day. We’re supposed to be commemorating the martyrdom of our national hero over a century ago, but the terrorist bombing 4 years ago put another reason for our country to look back. To answer the question though, my life has changed for the better, even for a small degree. It had its ups and downs but I had more ups this year. Professionaly, I couldn’t ask for more. I am enjoying my work, not the bulk though but the quality of it. The company I work for has tested all my abilities to it’s fullest. Nevermind the if amount of work I put into it has limited my social engagements. I’ve come to terms with it, even if my weekends aren’t rest days anymore.

Socially, well. Ho-hum. It’s still so-so. When someone asks me about my love life, they always get my trademark response, “Hehe, as usual, may life pero walang love.” Or when a relative asks when am I getting married, I normally tell them, “Don’t worry, malalaman nyo naman eh.”. At least, I’ve gotten used to it, even if my boss would always tease me when will I let him meet “my girlfriend.”. I’ve already told him why, at 32 years old, I’m still single. Maybe I’m still hung over my previous hurts, or maybe not. I’ve closed that chapter of my life a long time ago and it’s time to move on. I just need Cocoy to constantly remind me though to never again give a dog to a girl or never introduce your girfriend or "nililigawan" to your “barkada” unless you’re certain you’ll end up together. It's a jinx my close friends try to overcome. (sigh)

I’ve met with some of my friends last night for a post-christmas party. If there’s one thing that make my life more bearable is because of them, and all of my friends in general. They’re always there if you want to goof around, even if I see them a lot less time than the year before. Even though some of them have gone overseas to work, I’m still thankful.

2005 beckons in less than 2 days and I, like everyone have my resolutions for the new year, even if they have a shelf life of 1 month.

1. I have 5 credit cards and hopefully before the next year, I will only have 1 I’ve already saved enough to finish paying off at least 2 before tax time. Hopefully, by next years end, I’ll only have my Citibank-Visa.
2. Since I’m not paying as many credit cards as before, finally I’ll be able to save up more and spend for things I really need.
3. I need to shed a few pound ( kilograms would be more appropriate) to really stay fit. My buddy and I started to do long walks during Sundays and hopefully, by January we can pick-up where we left off. I’ve also started playing Badminton coz my boss is so fond of it. It’s easier to play and organize than basketball since you only need 2-4 persons and there’s lots of playing courts around. Hopefully I can learn another sport next year.
4. Hopefully, I’ll have enough time and resources to start studying for a Master’s degree before the next school year. I miss going to school and I’m already starting to forget a lot of things I used to know when I was still teaching. Besides, they will only allow those with Master’s degrees to teach at the college level. I’m not in a hurry though to go back to teaching though.
5. My eyesight deteriorated from 50-25 2 years back to 150-175 just last month and I had the flu quite a few to many times last year. Case in point, I must stay healthy and “always” follow what the doctor tells you.
6. This bloging thing is really therapautic, hopefully I can continue doing this.
7. I’m a Scorpio- Water Rat. Hopefully, the stars will give me lots of cheese this year and not just the holes.

Going back to my question, Is your life better now? Since I saw this one on TV, My answer will also be from TV. In the show Straight Talk, the outgoing British Ambassador to the Philippines was asked on How he sees the country, “Is it half-full or half-empty?” He said you should also look at the quality of the glass.

Well, for me, I always see the glass half-full, and I’m always thankful that the glass was there and someone offered me a drink.

A toast for a better life for all of us! Happy New Year, everyone!

D.M.

Aarrrgh. It's Christmas eve and I still haven't started my christmas shopping!

Call me lazy. I thought I started early this time since I've already thought of the gifts (and giveaways) I'm going to buy since October and It's only now that I'm doing my shopping.

It's still 12 hours till Christmas and I'm in Greenhills. There's not as many people as I am expecting but hey, I'm not complaining. I was in D.M. earlier today to look for, nee buy some boxes/ packaging for some of the gifts that I already have. D. M. or Divisoria Market, or mall to some people is jampacked with people as always. I used to work near the area so the number of people didn't surprise me. I'm used to it. What I'm not used to anymore is the smell, caused by the fact that there are huge piles of trash in certain portions of the street. It took me by surprise that the building where our office stood was torn down and in it's place is "another" mall. And I still have some things I left from that office since I kinda left unexpected.

Anyway, I'm searching for those plastic containers that some figurines come with. Anyway, when I do find the store that sells them, they only sell by bulk, and when I'm going to buy 25 pieces (when in fact I need only 7), they tell me that they can't sell me because their warehouse is closed until Monday. Sigh.

Not finding what I needed, I tried to look for alternative packaging options and if there's one thing I learned today is when you go to D.M., it's always better to buy in bulk coz no one's selling by piece, except those selling from the sidewalk.

I'm already through with the few gifts that I intended to buy. I still have a few errands more before I proceed home. I wish they'll like the gifts I have for them. If not, there's always next year.

Happy Christmas na lang.

Dawn Mass # 1

(Yawn!)

Just came back from hearing the 1st of 9 dawn masses a while ago. It's been 4 or 5 years since I tried to attend all of them. I hope I'll be able to this time 'coz I have a lot of things to be thankful for and it's the least I could do. The Mass celebrant is a familiar face everytime "simbang gabi" comes, and he gave us these words to ponder in preparation of the novena...

We must live simply so that others may simply live.

A short solution for a long list of problems..

Dad.

My father would have been 61 years old this year. He would have been doting on his granddaughter "Gellie" for over 2 years now, and he would have enjoyed every moment of it. This was our last family picture, taken New Years day, 1983. My Mom took this photo of me and my siblings with our Dad. Seven months later, my father would succumb to a heart attack and changed our lives altogether.

I always wonder how come I remember vividly the events on that night. It was a Friday, 19th of August 1983. I don't remember him coming home from work at the usual hour that he does. Maybe, he was with his officemates unwinding after a whole week at work. I only remember waking up as I heard my Mom trying to wake him up. I also recall trying to help her, though she would later say that I was asleep the whole time. Looking out the window, my Mom rush my father to the hospital only to be pronounce D.O.A. I fell asleep waiting for them to return. When I awoke, my Lola and other relatives were already at our house. It was 5 am. My Mom, in all her grace told me na "wala na ang Daddy mo" while trying to keep her composure. I was 10 years old, our youngest who just celebrated his 1st birthday a month ago, was still asleep.

My younger sister and I was fetched around 11am to go to the funeral home where we would spend the next few days. My other sister went with my Tita to inform ny Dad's mother in Malabon. 1983 was a dreadful year for our family. a month back, a grandmother passed away just when my cousins came back from the U.S. She just waited for their return after having been in the hospital for a month. My Father was the one who answered the phone when Lola Maya died. In December that same year, mom's father also died while vacationing at his eldest home in Las Piñas. It was only a year before when my brother and 2 other cousins were born, all in one year. Maybe heaven ran out of souls because one year hence, 3 members of our family died, all in one year also. My Dad was transfered at the church in the town were he grew up before his internment. My father was laid to rest at about the same time as Ninoy's burial, making me think that the whole country was mourning as our family mourned.

On the 15th, my Dad would have turned 61. Here's a Happy, Happy Birthday to you.

Spanglish

I can't wait for James Brook's movie "Spanglish" to be shown here. It stars 2 of the prettiests actresses in the world today (but thats just me, of course), Tea Leoni and Paz Vega, of Sex and Lucia fame. I hope it gets shown after New Years.

you've just been eliminated!

It's official! Lena and Kristy was the last team to check in at last night's Amazing Race 6. Hey, they didn't even get to the pit stop, Phil came to them after 9 plus hours unbundling bales of hay. How unlucky can you get. I cannot imagine watching the show without them. Anyway, I just have this habit of rooting for a team just before they get eliminated. Hey, story of my life... Just when you thought things will go your way... it doesn't.

Yoyong is howling outside as I'm typing this and good thing I was able to hitch a ride from work a few hours ago. I heard there aren't many PUV's around after PAGASA declared signal #2. I hope it doesn't get worse, especially since the last one, Winnie was devastating.

Christmas is only 3 weeks away and I still haven't started my gift shopping. I have this habit of shopping after Christmas Eve 'coz that's the only time I'm free (or putting off some work) to shop for myself and my family. It only dawned on me that I'm slowly becoming one of those guys whose always working and forgetting certain occassions and not preparing enough for it and buying gifts "just so" I have something to give. I certainly hope I could prevent it from transforming me entirely. 3 weeks to go till Christmas and 1 week more till 2005.

the race is on....

Amazing Race 6 is on! I've seen the first 2 legs already and it's pretty clear which team's hated the most. It's Jonathan and ... some girl. It's hard to be remembered when your teamate's getting all the attention with all his shouting and arrogance. I sometimes wonder if these American's are "instructed" to have a personality just fot the sake of the show. A TV show has to have a villain. I guess, they(or Jonathan's) just doing this for his 15 minutes.

It's no surprise also that the producers opted to have 2 races in a single year, much like what CBS did for Survivor(and they did it twice). Hey, if you have an award winning show show, better have it on all year. One observation though, is their names are sure getting unique everytime a new race begins. Lori and Bolo, Gus and Hera, and Avi and ... I forgot. Nevermind with the names though, I sure hope Lena and Christy get out of last place before the next leg or they will be eliminated, and so is my reason for continuing to watch the show. Or maybe not.

Our Manonica!

A very Happy, happy birthday! She's the first real celebrity that I personally know and recognizes me too. I got to know you the first time I tuned to that station you worked before and I got hooked. She has such a lovely voice, and a face not made for radio. You deserve to be in front of the camera not just behind it. I can't exactly verify this but if I remember correctly, did you used to read those love letter on air on one of those Sunday noontime shows for WRR? Anyway, I may have been dreaming.

I wish for you all the blessings and the happiness you deserve. May you be fulfilled in all you endeavors and always keep your chin up! Happy Birthday!

a lazy saturday afternoon.

It's one of those days again, when I have too much time to kill in between appointments. It's not that I have nothing to do but I can't go home just yet and go out again for the next "meeting". I hate that. When I get home I want to stay home. There was a time when I was younger that I didn't like staying at home, but that all changed when I graduated and began working. Nowadays, I want to be home as much as I could. I'm getting old, (or worse, mature).

Back to my story, I promised an officemate that I would help her get a brand new cellphone using my credit background because hers was not high enough. I've been successful postponing it for about a week but I had no excuse yesterday. My work is up to lunch only but the other staff in the office has work up to 5 so I had 3 or 4 hours to kill.

After finishing up my other meeting somewhere after lunch, I headed to the mall where we're supposed to meet and watched "National Treasure". It was an enjoyable film because Diane Kruger is so beautiful. Nevermind the story which was waht you'd expect from a Jerry Bruckheimer movie. I still recommend it though.

I left the cinema after not seeing any trailers of upcoming films. I'm still waiting to see the new Batman and Star Wars trailers anytime now. I want the full trailers and not the teasers. I can watch those online. Anyway, after much walking and gawking at the PDA's in the store windows, I'm finally at the store waiting for my number. It's been 30 minutes and still the sales rep is still with customer 32, I'm number 37. "Customer 41 please." she barked. Hey, what happened to the other 9? With a little complaint, my turn was up.

" I would like to get a new subscription please."

"Ok sir, If I could just get your I.D and proof of billing address with ITR and Certificate of Employment and or your past 2 months billing statements with receipt of payment..."

" (My what?) 2 months billing with receipt? I only brought 1 month. Is that ok?"

(sigh) The sales rep wouldn't budge. I just wasted an hour and no new phone and it's still raining. I rushed home with my take-out cheese pizza and baked ziti with tomato sauce hoping to catch part of the Pacers-Piston brawl on cable. ahh. just another day.

of Maiden's breasts, Francine Prieto and Belgian Malinois..

spent the weekend in batangas at a friends farm at the foot of a "maiden's breast," Loosely translated from "susong dalaga", which is the name of the mountains (or hills?) that is the backdrop of our friends farm. Took the trip with my friend Cocoy who dreamt about Francine Prieto being an transexual and proved wrong. No wonder he was smiling.
I helped our friend design this farm as thier weekend hideaway. My friend and his husband bought this property so that they could make things grow. They already have at least 10 kinds of fruit trees and vegetables here. It may take a few years before it can be harvested but it gonna be worth the wait. They also have 10 or so dogs of different breeds, from Japanese Spitz, Belgian Malinois and German Sheperds, black and white. There's also Cocoy's bitch, Trixie, their first dog, a huge, black Rottwieler. They also keep 3 young falcons in a birdcage in the property.
Half of the propoerty has a steep slope, dropping by 50meters to a river below. It's a long trek down with 4 pit stops along a stairway carved into the mountain-side. I always love going here, and I can't wait to finish the pool they've asked me to add into this small piece of paradise.

unplugged... almost.

It's a neat thing about cellphones these days is you can almost do everthing on it. There's been some hype that in the future, cellphones would become portable media devices (if it isn't already), where you can have a live feed of programs that you can watch,very much like the television now.

Last night I attempted to browse this blog from my cellphone. I really don't expect it to work it but to my surprise it did, pictures and all. I went a step further and tried to post a blog from it but all i got was a "cannot find the page you looking for". So much for my experiment.

I do wish I can have the devices to be able to blog even when I'm on the road so that it would be more spontaneous. We'll, that's just one more thing to wish for.

FRIENDS' back!

Yehey! FRIENDS is back on Star World! Thanks Vee for the heads up! I'll probably be tardy fot the office again because of this. Got this pic from the commemorative book they released a few months ago. Tweaked it a little bit.

Gellie!

This is Gellie! My niece who will celebrate her 2nd birthday on the 17th! Hope you'll enjoy your bicycle!

eventful weekend.

I thought last week was just gonna be the same as all my other weekends. I watched 2 movies from my backlog of flicks to see. First was "Before Sunset", which my friend recommended. It's really an entertaining "conversation" movie, much to the dismay of my officemates. The movie really showed that some of my notions in life and love exists in other people, even if it's in a movie. Especially the one where Celine is asking (while shouting, on the verge of tears) why is all her previous boyfriends got married after they broke up. I can relate to that. My only comlplain was the film's only 80 minutes long. I guess the director wanted the "real time" feel for this movie.

The other movie I saw was "The Incredibles", a CGI flick from PIXAR and has a running time longer than Before Sunset. I always love watching animated movies, whether it's 30 minutes or 2 hours. Maybe because a long time ago, before I was in my profession now, I wanted to draw for comic books and cartoons. Well, They're called graphic novels and animation today but who cares! The movie was great, just as all PIXAR movies. It has a simple story with great editing and fast-paced sequences which everyone will love. I'm still amazed how realistic the background and the "look" of the film had.

To top it all off, I went home to an "empty" house. My brother who was supposed to be home wasn't and he brought with him the key. I had no choice but to wait for about 2 hours, which brings everything back to normal.

Mangan na ulit! 

Mangan ta na. 

"Malagu"

It's Halloween and I'm alone in the house. It's really not that creepy since it's only 3 pm. I just came back from the last of my treats to my friends to cap of birthday week. I chose to celebrate my natal-day in small batches so as not to bother my Mom again in the preparations.

I celebrated my birthday at home only with my immediate family. We just ordered out our dinner and some ice cream. Nothing fancy. I took leave from work that day so I had arrangements made for snacks for my officemates so I won't be harrassed the following day. I have a lot of friends, all of them special in their own way, but I have them in small groups. Friends from high school, from college, fr. Litemail,fr work, friends in the business and so on.
Last weekend, I treated my Litemail friends to dinner and coffee. (actually it was only dinner) I just hope they enjoyed the food at Cabalen as much as I did. Some wasn't able to make it but I understand, it was a Halloween weekend afterall. It's friday and the last working day (for most but not for me though.) of the month. I rushed through 4 meetings that day and I had to rush through all of them. I arrived first at the restaurant, thank god, and waited for the others to arrive. Eventually all arrived and had their fill at the Kapampangan buffet. Thanks for all the gifts guys! As Kenny Rogers sings through the years as I'm typing this, A big HUG and THANKS to everyone who greeted and celebrated with me. " "Karugulan daka!"

last one.

Last night was the last in the string of celebrations. It's as informal as one can get. There were just 6 of us. This group is the remnant of my friends from high school and college. The food was great since it was Iron Chef Audie who cooked. The gulaman was prepared by Alvin and the booze was fine. We weren't able to drink much. Only a bottle of JW black and half a bottle of Absolut- Mandarin. We're getting old. Hey, we can't even drink as much as we used to. The half bottle of Absolut is still with me so that we can drink it when we plan for our Bangkok trip next April.

blue socks and a barong.

my family. my niece Gellie with dad Allan, me, My Mom. Nanette and Carlo.
T'was a night of food and dancing for the the family when one of our cousins turned 18th last week It's very rare when the whole family gets together and even so when you ask us to dress up. This event was planned for by my Tita and the cousins for almost a year and all of us( including your truly) had a part in the program. Being the eldest of all the cousins, I was first in line for the 18 roses, blue socks and all. (actually 2nd since the Father was 1st). Everything turned out okay, after all, this was only the 2nd time in our family someone celebrated her 18th birthday like this. The first one was just as interesting but that's another story.

Wishes!

It's my birthday! I'm gonna party like it's my birthday... as 50 cent would mosey on for too long. Can't take it anymore since this song was one of the first to be used as a ringtone in the first wave of colored mobiles. Here's my wishlist for the coming half-life! I hope my friends who check my blog will read this (Thanks by the way for those who visit, nee read my posts, don't know who you are but thanks!)

10. The new Smart Amazing phone 2, with it's built in camera larger internal memory and Bluetooth. Though my present Amazing Phone has a camera, it's really awkward and hassle especially for those "Kodak" moments.

9. Any PDA. I'm planning to get one soon but I don't know which one will suit me best. But if it's a gift, it'll suit me just fine!

8. Any notebook computer.

7. The complete 10 seasons of FRIENDS on "original" DVD. I already have it on bootleg but I must have the original so I can give them away.

6. The new Star Wars Trilogy DVD set, just recently released. I have't really checked the video stores for this one. I probably could afford this, I just don't have the time.

5. Since we're in the subject, A 35" flat screen TV complete with "surround" sound system.

4. My own place. I only need to pay up my credit card bills. Still not debt-free but I'm getting there. If only my clients would start paying up.

3. World Peace.

2. A Vacation. Hope I could get some free time in the next few months so I can visit my friends overseas. My itinerary would be Singapore, Thailand, Australia, California, New York then back.

1. Someone to share my life with.

sort of high school reunion.

Borromeo Grill, 05 October 2004. Just me and the gang, Doc Erwin (DMD), Thelma, me, Cocoy, Doc Jojo (MD), balikbayan Butch and Fatima, Mhel and Alvin. (hey Vee, I think I've got it!)

Semi-charmed half-life.

I consider myself to be lucky if not blessed. There have been instances in the past that could have been disastrous if the breaks didn't come my way. It would have altered my life entirely.
When I was about to enter high school, I thought I didn't qualify in the school I wanted. In my carelessness, I didn't see my name when the results came out. If it hadn't been for a phone call from a friend, I would have enrolled in another school.
In college, in anticipation of our graduation, our class went to Bataan for a weekend of relaxation and celebration. After a whole afternoon of swimming and island hopping, it was now time to take the banca-ride back to the resort. Halfway through the trip, our vessel ran out of fuel. We were floating aimlessly as dusk approaches and the waves started to get bigger. Fortunately, another banca came by with an extra canister of fuel and we're able to reach the shore.
A few years ago while on my way to a party, we decided to take a shortcut into Balara to get to Marikina faster. Think aout this, if the car you're driving is a compact sedan like the Kia Pride and you're facing an unfinished bridge with knee-deep floodwater running over it, you should turn back and look for another way. But, no... our over-zealous driver didn't think so and drove the car across. With the water rushing up to the window, we had no recourse but to push forward and amid the cheers of the bystanders made it across. That is one shortcut I'm never gonna take again.
I'll be celebrating another birthday in a few days and this one, in my opinion, is the halfway point in my life, but that's just me. I've accomplished so much more than I expected and dreamt of and I'm truly thankful. If God intended me to go beyond that is up to Him, after all, I owe it entirely to Him. If there's one thing I've realized all these years is nothing is so bad that God's goodness cannot match. So when the chips are down or things don't come my way, I say to myself, "Don't worry, everthing will turn out okay."

being like boys again!

29 september 1984

I don't remember what happened on that day. I was still a freshman in high school in the only Royal and Pontifical University this side of the Pacific. There's probably a protest rally somewhere. Confetti and streamers flying in the air. The peso is sliding against the dollar. The price of crude is also sky high which is a cause for jeepney to cry "fare hike!". On the TV you see Tito, Vic and Joey on Eat!., hey.. wait a minute...this happened 20 f*#@in years ago!!!
20 years hence, I am in a hotel lounge with my classmates from that day. There's only 8 of us but it seems like old times. One member of the gang came home after 7 or 8 years in New Jersey. We're catching up, reminiscing while drinking beverage that was prohibited back in high school and staying up later than the curfew. Times do have changed. Alas, we've all grown up. Butch, our balikbayan friend mentioned that nothing much has changed except for our waistlines, and for some, their civil status.( hey... at least I got one!)
We never acted our age that night. Even if you hear the same stories over and over, it's always interesting because there's 8 sides of the incident now. The only instance we behaved like adults was when the discussion turned political and about business, but only for a short while. We agreed to cut our night short because for most of the gang have work the next day. Before the pleasantries and goodbyes, we all agreed to meet again before Butch goes back to the U.S., and this time, bring along our respective partners. Even so, count me in.
Twenty years is already a lifetime to know and stay friends with anybody and I hope we stay that way. A family friend mentioned a long time ago that the face that you remember your family or friends with is the same, no matter how long you've known or how many years have passed since you last saw each other. For me, It's quite true.

rhythm method...

I learned a new phrase today and it's Circadian Rhythm. A newspaper article described it as the body's natural clock. The same article is about ways to defeat insomnia by doing sleep-inducing habits.
I never had an difficulty sleeping, except only when I'm anxious. I reason probably is because I have I mole in my nape. I could already hear Vincent's voice ...." nunal sa batok, antukin daw..(ala Funky Town). I cannot explain it but every instance that my back touches a level surface, I'll be sleepy in a matter of minutes. Staying asleep though is different. I am, on most occassions a light sleeper. I'm always roused at least once a night and catches sleep again after an hour or so. I can't remember when was the last time I had a good night's sleep. In the movie "With Honors", Simon has a pebble for every memorable event in his life and has a pebble to remind him of "the best night's sleep he ever had." I hope I could get some of that.
I've been able to sleep soundly the past couple of months, probably not many reasons to be waking up in the dead of night. Also, work and other activities has my body begging for more rest. It isn't a surprise to see me in front of the TV trying to stay awake watching CSI: Miami. I do hope I can't stay awwke for a bit longer periods so I can finish "Debt of Honor". It's been 8 months and I'm still in chapter 10.

leaving home...

It's never easy leaving home. I've never experienced being away from home by no longer than a week, even when I was still studying.Twice I left home and lived somewhere else, once when I was still a kid and the other when I was in college but still always close enough so that I can, on certain occassions go back, even for a little while. The only thing in my mind that is as hard is seeing people close to you leave.

A few years back, some of my closests friends migrated to another continent to start their life anew Down Under. I've never questioned them, or anyone else, their motives for leaving but I'm always asking myself if I'll get used to them being "not there". I got used to it eventually. Whenever these things happen, I'm always reminded of an ice cream commercial long ago with that now famous line "eh sinong best friend mo duon?".

Two more of my friends left to work abroad and I'm a bit sad and disturbed, even for just a bit. Are they seeing something that I don't? Will I ever realize it before it's too late? Three times in the past I've been offered but three times I refused. Call me sentimental or patriotic but somewhere down that road I'll have to give it some serious thought.

In a couple of weeks, another friend is leaving and this time, I'm not just a bit sad, I'm really, really really sad because, she may be gone for good, and there's nothing I can do about it. My prayers are gonna be with her though, hoping that she'll have all the success and happiness she deserves, and she deserves a lot.
After all the goodbyes have been said and probably seeing her face for the last time, I wish I could take a mental picture of that last moment, ala Alec Baldwin, as I tap my temples with my fore fingers ~CLICK~ and in my head I mutter... "eh sinung best friend mo duon?".

"syempre ikaw lang!", I heard her say, this time, it's still just in my head.

here goes nothin....

It was only with the encouragement of a friend that I'm willing to do this, but I wondered every once in awhile why shouldn't I? Maybe it's the fear that I may not always have something to write about, or the possibility that other people will be able to read what my thoughts are and presumptions or something. Basically, it's the fear that others may judge me for what they've read but I'm over it and I'm willing to go move forward and try and fail and try again.

I think maybe it's time other people should know what's inside me, what my thoughts, my feelings are before it's too late to do something, or at least I've said my point. I just pray I don't run out of things to say...

so here goes nothing...